Valda Hatton

A brief story of my life.

Born 12-02-1928. Married 08-01-1949, to Vernon Sydney Ash . Died 13-02-1998

I was born at 21 Curtis Road, Balmain, Sydney, the 2^nd daughter of Frank Eric and Edith Sarah Hatton. Although only 3lb.2oz (approx. 1.5 kilos) born, I was never a sickly baby and obviously thrived, despite my Mother’s anxious moments. Until 1932 the family lived in a rented cottage in Balmain, just around the corner from Campbell St where Frank and Edith were married on the 8^th Jan.1929. In 1932 they moved to their own home at 40 Patrick St. Hurstville where I lived until my marriage. There were two sisters, Jean born 21-4-1922 (died 12-07-1976) and Barbara born 25-01-1937, there being 15 years between the three girls.

I was educated at Hurstville Public School until 1940 when I went to St. George Girls High School, leaving after the Intermediate Certificate at the end of 1942. An average student but received a good education at St George, studying English, Maths 1 & 2, History, Geography, French and Botany obtaining 4 A and 3 B passes. For girls, St George was a High School rather than a Domestic Science school that most girls attended, so had a more academic curriculum. After leaving school, I worked in the office of Standard Telephone and Cables, a position obtained by my elder sister Jean, who also worked at STC. This was during World War 2 and one was not allowed to leave jobs without good reason.

During the war it was quite usual for families to invite British servicemen home for meals and a taste of family life when they were so far from home. Frank and Edith were no exception and Vernon, a sailor in the Royal Navy, was one of a few who shared meals with the family. I met Vernon in February 1945 after my Father went aboard HMS Swiftsure to repair a sewing machine, used to repair signal flags. The following weekend was a day when the general public were invited to visit the ship and the whole family took up the offer. Vernon was detailed off to show us around and afterwards my Father invited him home for a meal. There did not appear to be any romantic attraction between us in the beginning and in fact Vernon was engaged to a girl in England, but whenever the ship returned to Sydney he would ring us first and when invited, come around for a meal.

Towards the end of 1945 he mentioned that he was thinking of taking his discharge from the navy in Australia and needed to know if his feelings were returned, ( he had told the girl in England that he wasn’t going to go back there). At first I told him that he should go back to England but my Mother could see that I was very unhappy at that thought and she finally advised me to tell him that I loved him and on the 21^st December 1945 we became engaged. At that time Vernon was nearly 20 and I was nearly 18. Vernon did not go back to England when he was discharged in Sydney at the end of 1946, and my parents invited him to stay in our house in Hurstville. In fact it was 1974 before he visited England again.

As soon as possible after the war in 1946 I looked for a position for myself and found it at Prudential Assurance, (Martin Place Sydney), in the Renewal Department. This position was one which really suited me as I liked figures and bookwork and it did allow me to continue working after my marriage in 1949. My parents would not agree with me getting married until I had turned 21, but did finally agree to the wedding being before my birthday, but only by about a month. The day we chose was the 8^th Jan 1949 as that day was Frank and Edith’s 28^th wedding anniversary and also my Grandmother Hatton’s 79^th birthday. We spent our honeymoon at Nambucca Heads on the north coast of NSW and our first home after that was with friends in Kingsgrove Sydney.

These friends decided to leave Sydney in order to live on the Blue Mountains so we found ourselves other accommodation living with an elderly lady in her house in Summer Hill Sydney. She was a widow who owned some property and eventually we left to live in one of her small houses not far away in Ashbury. We remained there for about 3 years and in 1954 we decided we could afford to buy our first house. This was in Augusta St Punchbowl Sydney, living there until about 1961 or 62. Vernon got a second job at this time, selling ice cream out of the back of our car, every penny helped!

I continued working after the wedding, and this was somewhat unusual as most women left work as soon as they got married in those days. As the working week included working on Saturday mornings, special permission had to be obtained to allow me not to work on that day. So I worked for 5 years after my marriage, but in September/October 1953 I became pregnant. Our fist child, Gregory Richard was born on the 23^rd June 1954, our 2^nd son, Robert Mark was born on the 1^st May 1956 and after a miscarriage, our 3^rd son, Christopher John was born on 3^rd February 1959. As soon as I was able at this time, I found evening and Saturday morning work as a doctor’s receptionist but not leaving the children until Vernon had got home from work, then I was out the door. The extra money came in very handy!

Vernon worked for the PMG’s Dept. from Jan.1947 onwards, firstly for nearly 2 years as a postman, and then he transferred into the telecommunications side as an instructor in their Training Schools. He felt he needed to get some promotion so in 1962 we moved from Punchbowl to the NSW country city of Orange where he was in charge of one of the telephone exchanges.

In 1964 Vernon’s parents came out from England to stay with us for 12 month’s, with us providing the accommodation etc for the whole time. Another person came with them so we had to accommodate him as well. With wages in those years being no where near generous, we were pushed to make ends meet after that year. So as the children were by then of an age where they could look after themselves to some extent, I started working again. I did things like telephone sales, door to door selling, statistical work for the Bureau of Statistics, etc.

In 1968 Vernon was appointed as OIC to a telephone exchange in the town of Cootamundra where we lived for the next 20 years. Initially we rented a house while looking for one to buy and found what we were looking for after about three months. After getting settled in to our new house and while the children were at school, I did casual and relieving work in a number of the State Government offices there. These included the departments of Valuer General’s, Agriculture, Health, Education, Community Service, and General Administration. My final working position in Cootamundra was as a Clerical Assistant and then Secretary at the Cootamundra Public School from August 1974 until my retirement in December 1987.

During this period in Cootamundra and as each of our children ended their school years, they had to leave home to attend university and college etc. Gregory going to Australian National University (ANU) at Canberra doing Science and finally obtaining a PhD in Biochemistry. Robert initially attended the University of NSW (Sydney) doing Metallurgy but couldn’t stand the city life and left to do a Diploma course in Industrial Arts at Goulburn Teachers College (which he loved and is a very good teacher now with his Dip.Ed. degree). Christopher attended the teachers college at Wagga Wagga in order to become a Primary Teacher. He completed the course and graduated but could not find a teaching position anywhere. He moved to Sydney and became a Customs Officer, initially on Sydney Harbour where he had to meet incoming ships to check their bond stores. After this he worked at Sydney airport where on one occasion he detected some incoming heroin!

In August 1982 the great tragedy of my life as a parent occurred. Christopher rang us from Sydney one day and said he had been diagnosed as having cancer and was due to start chemo therapy the following day. We made the then 4 hour drive to Sydney immediately where we visited the Professor who was handling his case. It appeared that he was suffering from Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. During the next 16 months he underwent all sorts of treatment but finally died on the 4^th December 1983. This was about 5 weeks after he married his girlfriend Sharon Phillips on 29-10-1983.

I have interests outside work and home, such as V.I.E.W. Club which works for the Smith Family, Mother’s Clubs and P.& C. Associations at the boys various schools, Boy Scout committees and Save the Children Fund. I was Treasurer of the Cootamundra Neighbourhood Community Centre, Secretary of the Cootamundra Bicentennial committee for 2 ½ years from 1985 – 1987 and represented the committee on Australia Day at the official ceremonies at the Opera House. Having moved to Vincentia in April 1988, I took over the position of Secretary of the Vincentia Ratepayers and Residents Association from 1989 – 1997 and in 1989 also started as a unit helper in the 2^nd Vincentia Brownies, something completely different, never having been a Brownie or Guide myself. For 2 years I also volunteered to do duty as a remedial reading tutor at Vincentia High School.

I was never a great sports person, but enjoyed Physical Culture in my teens, tennis in early married life and yoga later on. I love walking and now do that around the Vincentia shore of Jervis Bay where we live.

Of great delight are our children:

· Gregory Richard, born 23-06-1954, married to Aileen Tassaker on 19-04-1986.

· Robert Mark born 01-05-1956, married to Susanne Deans on 07-05-1983

· Christopher John born 03-02-1959, married to Sharon Phillips on 29-10-1983.

Robert’s children Christopher Mark born 25-04-1985 (named after his Uncle Chris) and Phillipa Louise born 14-10-1987.

Greg has one child, Emelia Rosemarie born 22-01-1991.

During our married life Vernon and I lived in Sydney for 13 years, Orange for 6 years, Cootamundra for 20 years and now Vincentia for nearly 10 years. It has been a very happy time and after almost 49 years, the marriage has stood the test of time and the sadness of Chris’ death, in fact we were drawn closer together because of it.

The above narrative was put together by Valda during the last year of her life. She died on the 13^th February 1998. I will relate the facts of her illness and death. Vernon S Ash.

Early in 1998 Valda and I made all the arrangements to undertake a trip around the top end of Australia. Shortly before we were due to start this trip visited our family doctor as Valda had been suffering stomach pains for some time. These pains were diagnosed as a bacterial infection and treated as such. The treatment was known as Helidak and consisted of taking 17 tablets a day for two weeks. The treatment was almost worse than the complaint but Val completed the course of tablets.

A week later we started on our holiday which consisted of flying to Darwin, taking a 14 day coach trip visiting all the sights and ending in Broome. We then flew to Perth , hired a car for 10 days going north to Monkey Mia and south right down to Cape Leeuwin, and finally back to Perth. Where we were due to travel back to Sydney on the train that runs right across the continent. As the train was cancelled at the last moment we flew back.

During all of this trip Val was still suffering stomach pains and was not able to eat very much but pushed herself to the end. Arriving back in Vincentia she immediately made an appointment to visit the doctor again. On this occasion she was referred to a Gastroenterologist for further checks. These finally showed that Val had a malignant tumour of the stomach, which perforated before any operation could be scheduled.

Following an emergency operation in Sydney at the Royal Prince Alfred hospital where the whole of the stomach was removed, Val recovered very well initially. However the surgeon advised us that there were signs of secondary cancers and that when fully recovered from the surgery she would have to start chemo therapy.

Val had a violent reaction to this treatment and it had to be suspended twice and finally stopped altogether. During all this time she was not able to eat properly and so continually lost weight. By the middle of November 1997 her weight was down to 39.5 kilos from her normal weight of around 65 kilos. It was just a matter of time.

Our two sons and their families, and Val’s sister Barbara were very supportive and spent some time with us during the Christmas period, and again during January 1998.

By this time Val was too weak to get out of bed and as she did not wish to go to hospital I looked after her at home until her death. In this I was greatly helped by Barbara and the Community Nurses who came almost daily. We passed our 49^th wedding anniversary on the 8^th Jan. and Val finally made her 70^th birthday but sadly passed away just after 2 am on 13-02-98.

Due to Val’s heavy commitment in community affairs, I arranged for a memorial service to be held in Vincentia. This was held the day before her Committal Service at the Woronora Crematorium in Sydney, and at the Vincentia service 98 people were there and of these only 9 were family members. Just the number attending was a tribute to the esteem that Val enjoyed in the community.

I loved her very much and I miss her greatly.